Space oddity
by Candid Ishida
Summary: No word from ground control... and Taichi must suffer through the night not knowing if Yamato will make it back to him alive. Follows the 02 ending, but with the twist all Taito fans wish for. YAOI


My name, it's Yagami Taichi, and right now the love of my life is about a million  
  
kilometers away. For those of you keen on geography, you might wonder how this can be  
  
possible, considering the planet Earth on which we're currently residing isn't nearly that big  
  
around. My lover, Yamato, he's an astronaut. It's a unique career, but he's considered one of the  
  
best there is. On any other day I would be proud, but tonight I'm wishing more than anything  
  
that he was planted firmly on the ground. I've been sitting up all night waiting for a call from  
  
ground control to let me know they've heard from him, but so far... nothing. The phone remains  
  
silent. It's really quiet in our apartment, our sons are sleeping right now, and I feel like I can hear  
  
every desperate beat of my heart while I wait here for the phone to ring.  
  
I've always known that his career was risky, but the danger hardly ever crossed my mind  
  
until today. Accidents are so infrequent, there are hundreds of safety precautions. He's always  
  
come home to me safely. I never once felt lonely, because even though we were so far apart, I  
  
knew that soon we'd be together, sleeping in the same bed. Now there's a chance I may  
  
never see him again, and I feel like my whole world is seesawing between happiness and  
  
devastation.   
  
The hours pass slowly. I've tried everything to forget about the phone sitting there, not  
  
ringing. I've paced the house, checked on the boys a dozen times, tried reading, tried watching  
  
TV, but nothing helps. Everything reminds me of him. As I sit back down at the counter I notice  
  
his cigarettes sitting next to me. I can't bear to see them. I walk to the sliding doors that lead to  
  
our terrace and look up, but I can't see a single star. There's nothing but eternal night.  
  
We weren't always together. Life was rough for everyone after the divorce, especially for  
  
the kids. I myself had never been married before. The mother of my child and the woman that I  
  
thought loved me left me a long time ago to raise our son by myself. I'd rather not think about  
  
her now... As for Matt, he and Sora seemed so content together, nothing like now, they're no  
  
longer on speaking terms. They were married for a few years, had ups and downs like every  
  
normal couple, everyone thought it would last forever. None of us had a clue what was going on  
  
behind the scenes. The vision of perfection that all their friends saw was a lie, either for their  
  
children's sake or for their own, I'm not sure why they carried on like that for so long.   
  
~~ Five Years Ago~~  
  
There was my younger self, the single father with bushy brown hair and unironed clothes  
  
ascending the stairs to my best friend's apartment. When I reached their floor, my ears were met  
  
with shouting. I stood at the end of the hall as piles of clothes and belongings came flying out the  
  
door of their apartment, settling to the floor in a heap.  
  
"Get out of my house!"  
  
"It's my house as much as yours!"  
  
"Take your stupid guitar with you!"   
  
With these words a guitar case tumbled out the door with a tremendous crash, and I saw  
  
Matt being pushed out along with it.  
  
"You be fucking careful with that!" He screamed back into the apartment, looking about  
  
ready to punch the crying woman standing in the door frame.  
  
"I guess I know what's more important to you!" she shrieked. Her face was red, her eyes  
  
were puffy, her orange hair seemed a mess. There stood Sora, and now I wish my last time seeing  
  
her could have been more pleasant.  
  
"Just go away, I never want to see you again!" She cried, slamming the door in his face.  
  
"You can go to hell, Sora!" He yelled, slamming his fist into the door, which probably  
  
would have swung open if it hadn't been locked by the woman inside.  
  
"I'll see you there then!" I heard a muffled scream from beyond the door, and that was it.   
  
A marriage had ended right before my eyes.  
  
At this point, I had forgotten I was standing there gawking, until a tear stained and angry  
  
face turned and saw me there. He looked at me, then turned away, his pride had been injured by  
  
being seen in such a state. I suddenly felt guilty, as if just my seeing him crying had caused  
  
everything.  
  
"Now's not a good time, Tai..." He choked, gathering his clothes up off the floor. I  
  
walked up to help him. We had been friends too long for me not to know that 'Go away' meant  
  
'I need you'.  
  
"I'm guessing you need a place to stay tonight," I said, as I bundled several pairs of pants  
  
under my arm and he picked up his guitar.  
  
"Yeah..." he said in a hushed whisper, trying to balance his belongings and dry his eyes at  
  
the same time.  
  
He stayed the night, and never left.  
  
  
  
~~  
  
After that, Sora took their younger son and moved to Kyoto, I haven't seen her since  
  
then. I have a feeling Matt's gotten letters, but I don't want to pry. He keeps a lot to himself, but  
  
I don't mind. I remember the night their divorce was finalized, he cried on my shoulder. I'm not  
  
sure if he missed her as much as he was glad it was finally over. Even so, seeing those blue eyes  
  
cry is something very few souls have ever witnessed. It breaks my heart to see him so sad, but at  
  
the same time I feel honored that he trusts me enough to show me his weakest moments.   
  
His eyes... they're so beautiful. And now I'm wondering if I'll ever gaze into them again.   
  
It brings me to tears, but no one's here to hold me. All I can do is lock myself in our bedroom  
  
and bury my face in a pillow. I can still smell him here in our bed. The scent of his aftershave and  
  
shampoo linger in the sheets and heaving sobs almost overtake me. I sit up, I can't stand smelling  
  
him when I know he's not here.  
  
I think about our first night together. When we shared our first kiss, when I knew he felt  
  
the same way I always had, even thought I didn't know it myself. He was so gentle...  
  
~~Four Years Ago~~  
  
"It's beautiful out tonight..." He sighed, leaning back in the rowboat we had rented and  
  
smiling up at the stars.   
  
"Just think, in a few months I could be up there. I've been told I've got a real good  
  
chance of being accepted for our next mission."  
  
I was leaning over the side of the boat at the time, swirling a piece of long grass around in  
  
the water, watching the patterns it formed.  
  
"What do you think it'll be like," I asked, looking over at him, "to see the Earth from  
  
above?" His eyes were still transfixed on the stars when he answered.  
  
"Wonderful..." He sat up then, and pulled on his jacket. When he had settled back into  
  
his seat, he looked at me.  
  
"It's been a dream of mine for a long time," he said. "I dreamed of being a rock star, or a  
  
famous chef, but deep down, my truest dream has always been to see the Earth from space." For  
  
some reason, he seemed embarrassed to share that with me.  
  
"Do you have one?" he asked, catching me off guard. I had been staring at the reflection  
  
of the starlight in his eyes.  
  
"Have what?" I said, feeling slightly stupid and having no idea what he was talking about.  
  
"You know, a special dream that you don't really talk about."  
  
"Well... to win the World Cup," I answered, soccer had always been my number one  
  
obsession.   
  
"I mean, something really personal." Apparently my answer wasn't good enough for him.   
  
At that moment though, instead of thinking about soccer or being famous or even about Matt, I  
  
remembered my would be wife that had abandoned me. It wasn't really her I missed, though.   
  
What I missed most... was having someone to kiss goodnight.  
  
"I guess, to find true love," I said. I felt a bit ashamed and turned away once the words  
  
had left my mouth, it was such a girly thing to say. But I guess Matt didn't think so.  
  
"Me too..." he whispered. When I glanced back up, he was staring into his lap, looking so  
  
sad and lonely. I figured he must still miss Sora, but I don't think he did at all. I think that was  
  
the day that Matt really healed, the day he finally got over her.   
  
I'll never be sure how long we sat in that rowboat together, but when Matt cradled my  
  
face in his hand and kissed me, I thought I must be the happiest man alive.   
  
~~  
  
We made love that night after we got home. I thought to myself before I fell asleep, that  
  
this could ruin our friendship. I wondered if maybe we were just two lonely people who needed a  
  
night of passion, but it turned out I had nothing to worry about.  
  
We were married a few months later, in fact, our three year anniversary is coming up in  
  
February. But what if he's not here to see it. I find myself sitting in a corner, somewhere in the  
  
apartment, I don't care anymore. All the memories and thoughts of my soul mate suffocating in  
  
the emptiness of space are overwhelming, I can't even remember what time it is. For some  
  
reason, I feel like he's been gone a long time. In one night, I feel like he's been away for years  
  
and years, and I'm wishing I had kissed him just one more time when we said goodbye.  
  
Am I being irrational? I'm not sure, but when the person you love is farther away than  
  
words can describe, being rational doesn't seem important. Every worst case scenario has been  
  
drifting through my mind since the check in time passed. What's taking so long, what happened,  
  
where are you!? I almost scream. If he dies, how will I ever go on. How could I raise our boys  
  
alone, what kind of life will they have with their father gone.  
  
Now, I'm angry. I'm angry at Matt. It's his fault that this happened, it's his fault that he  
  
left, it's his fault that he's so far away, and I'm crying again. Crying in agony, crying in despair, I  
  
can't hold it in. Why is this happening to me...  
  
I practically jump out of my skin when a shrill ringing pierces the silence. I can't even  
  
remember what that sound is for a few seconds, and then I finally gather myself and run to pick up  
  
the phone. My hand hovers over it momentarily, wondering if I should even answer. What if it's  
  
bad news... but I can't stand not knowing. I answer the phone.  
  
"Moshi moshi..." I say, my voice shaking.  
  
"Hello, Mr. Yagami?" I've heard this voice before, she's a woman that works at ground  
  
control. What is the going to tell me about my husband...?  
  
"Yes," I say, nearly bursting into tears again from the pure anticipation and dread.  
  
"We're really sorry about the delay but the shuttle was experiencing a temporary radio  
  
failure. I hope you haven't been worrying too much!" She says, actually laughing a bit.   
  
Worrying too much... that must be the understatement of the year.  
  
"Yeah..." I say, trying to sound calm.  
  
"We should have another update tomorrow, and the crew will be returning home on  
  
schedule," she continues, "Only one week left!"  
  
"I can't wait," I say.  
  
And suddenly, my night of torture is over.  
  
~~One week later~~  
  
I'm sitting in the lobby, clutching a paper cup full of water, but I'm not able to drink. I  
  
don't normally worry like this, but I'm so on edge today.  
  
Then I hear cheers from the control room, our sons' included, signaling that touchdown  
  
has been a success. Finally, he's home...  
  
A few hours pass, the crew needs to undergo debriefing and a medical exam when they  
  
return. The boys have fallen asleep in the chairs next to me, it's been a long day. And then the  
  
most beautiful sight I have ever seen enters the room. I stand, he sees me, he smiles. The next  
  
thing I know, I'm being swept up into two strong arms that I haven't felt around me in what  
  
seems like forever. When Matt sets me down, I look up into those blue eyes I've been craving,  
  
and they're about to cry once again. So are mine, I think.  
  
"You can't believe how much I've missed you," he says, but I think I can believe it.  
  
"Same here..." I say.   
  
"I love you," he says.  
  
"I love you too."   
  
And then, just like that first night, he cups my face in my hand and kisses me.   
  
It is the sweetest kiss ever....  
  
~Owari~ 


End file.
